Anyway, this revisiting was from the recent past and fairly funny unless you are me. In that case it was painful. Physically.
So this morning, I felt bad for the furbabies (otherwise known as the hellhounds Rugby and Neytiri) because the deck was frosted over and they looked very nervous and unhappy about that and the cold weather.
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| Neytiri (Tiri) |
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| Rugby |
My dogs are spoiled. I admit it freely. To soothe the angst a bit, I decided to toss them each a piece of aging lunch meat. I couldn't have made this happen if I had tried, but when I flung it, the piece of meat landed ON the electric wire that runs around the inside of our fence. (Please don't call the ASPCA on me. The wire is much more humane than I would have been if those damn dogs dug out ONE MORE TIME. I was seriously thinking dismemberment.)
Without thinking, I started to walk to the fence, then stopped in my tracks, relieved that my brain was still intact and sending signals. My intent had been to pluck the ham off the wire since the dogs don't go near it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You see, the electric fence and I already had TWO run-ins in which the electric fence definitely came out the victor. Back in the summer when Jeff (dear friend who will likely be mentioned in future posts) and Caroline put up the wire, Jeff (who was wearing heavy work boots at the time) was wondering if the fence was working, so he tapped the back of his fingers against the wire. He invited me to do the same, and being the natural blond that I am, I did. Did I mention I was barefoot? Let's just say I got the shock of my life. Ha. Ha. Ha.
But it goes on from there! After I'd recovered for a few moments, I wondered about how to get the dogs to zap themselves so that they would stay away from the fence (and digging holes under it) forever more. Certainly it wasn't my goal to torture my babies. Much. So, brainiac that I am, I come up with the brilliant idea to lay a piece of lunch meat (are you getting the historical reference now?) on the wire to tempt the pups up. It never occurred to me that a piece of moist meat would be a great conductor, especially when the idiot laying it on the wire was STILL BAREFOOT!
To add insult to injury, the ex and his wife pulled into the driveway seconds before this meat mishap and got to watch me jump around cursing and screaming when I got my second shock in about five minutes. Everyone got a great laugh until I went inside and burst into tears. Because OW!
Luckily this memory (never far away since the story is retold often to friends and family, although not by me) popped to the surface and stopped me in my tracks. Two shocks I can bear the humiliation of, but three? No. Especially not since I would be repeating something stupid. At that point I simply walked back in the house. We'll see if the ham is still on the wire when I get home. If it is, so be it. Lord knows I am NOT going to retrieve it.
